The Sea Glass Horse

When I was a young child, I remember traveling around the state of New Hampshire and visiting different churches on Sundays. Most of these churches were not in regular church buildings but in rented facilities. My dad was a stake high counselor, which means he was a high priest with an assignment to preach to these congregations. While I was way too young to remember what he said, I remember him repeating over and over again the phrase - a broken heart and a contrite spirit. For years, I couldn't understand what this phrase meant; and, while we read scriptures as a family daily, there was no explanation to help connect these terms to the real world. And yet, the scriptures repeatedly emphasize how important it is to have these qualities.

Broken Heart

When I was nearing my teenage years, the first person who helped me relate to the concept of a broken heart was a sister missionary who was very good at connecting with me and my siblings. I remember her most distinctly because she was the first person I had ever met who had actually seen angels. She came to our house one day and shared a lesson about having a broken heart and a contrite spirit. For broken heart she used the analogy of breaking in or taming a wild horse. This resonated so well with me that I never forgot it. Here are a couple people who have talked about the process of taming a wild horse.

Horse Analogy

AI Generated Image

"When professionals train Arabian horses they work with them for several months. At the conclusion of the training period, they are placed in a corral without food or water. After several days both food and water are placed some distance away, but within sight. The gate is then opened and the horses run to satisfy their appetites.

"Just before they reach the food and water, the trainer blows a whistle. Those that respond to the trainer’s whistle are singled out as the most valued. They are submissive to the master’s call." (The Beatitudes and Our Perfection by Elder Royden G. Derrick)

We can also learn more about the process of breaking a horse in this BYU Devotional titled "Broke" Hearts and Contrite Spirits and this diagram titled Bridle All Your Passions.

Contrite Spirit

When I asked the sister missionary what it meant to have a contrite spirit, I'm sure she gave me a good answer, but it was not memorable because it wasn't concrete. For years afterwards, I sought for some concrete way of remembering what it means to have a contrite spirit. When I was in college, I looked up the word contrite in the dictionary which didn't help much until I found the etymology of the word. Etymology has to do with the origins of a word, where it came from. 'Con' is a Latin word and meaning with or together. 'Trite' is a middle English word coming from the French word 'trit,' from the Latin word 'tritus,' which came from the Latin word 'terere' meaning to rub. (Etymonline) So, separately they mean 'together rub.' but then you put them together conterere means to rub together, grind down, or wear away. My next task was trying to figure out what this has to do with our spirit and how it is a good thing for us to have. 

Stone Analogy

Shortly after, God answered my inquiries with a story I heard in Sunday school which was a quote from Joseph Smith:

I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high mountain; and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming in contact with something else, striking with accelerated force against religious bigotry, priest-craft, lawyer-craft, doctor-craft, lying editors, suborned judges and jurors, and the authority of perjured executives, backed by mobs, blasphemers, licentious and corrupt men and women—all hell knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty. (History of the Church, 5:401)

He used the words 'rubbed off' which matched the idea of 'rub together' in the contrite etymology. In my mind this jagged stone, rolling down a figurative mountain, could get smoother, but I couldn't see it getting 'polished.' Then I imagined this stone falling into a river where it would get dragged along the bottom by the water, accelerating the smoothing, polishing process until it became as smooth as a skipping stone. I picture David going down to the brook and picking 5 of these stones in preparation for his battle with Goliath. (1 Sam 17:40)

When I think of "striking with accelerated force," "smooth and polished shaft in the quiver," and grind down, I am reminded of the making and sharpening of weapons and tools through metal work; the metal is heated and smashed with a hammer into the desired shape and ground down until it is sharp. The concept of the refiners fire always reminds me of the tale of the process for refining silver. Here are two blog posts that repeat this story: The Refiners Fire - To Become Like God and Refiner and Purifier of Silver. (See the Editor's note)

With the concepts of refiner's fire and contrite spirit, I always remember President Eyring recounting an experience at his mother's funeral. "One of the speakers at her funeral was President Spencer W. Kimball. Among the tributes he paid, I remember one that went something like this: 'Some of you may have thought that Mildred suffered so long and so much because of something she had done wrong that required the trials.' He then said, 'No, it was that God just wanted her to be polished a little more.' I remember at the time thinking, 'If a woman that good needed that much polishing, what is ahead for me?'" (Mountains to Climb by President Eyring)

I was recently given the imagery of sea glass whose broken shards can easily and severely cut the feet of anyone stepping on them. Once they have gone through the smoothing process of being tossed to and fro in the sand of the ocean, they become smooth and beautiful. Many people use these pieces of sea glass for art, decorations, and jewelry.

In conclusion, to have a broken heart means I need to be fully obedient and submissive to the commandments and will of the Lord through repentance, including bridling my passions; and, to have a contrite spirit means I need to become like 1) a strong, sharp weapon in the hands of the Lord, 2) a skillful, refined tool to carry on God's work and build His kingdom, and 3) a shining piece of art, beautiful to look at and admire.